The Turning of the Year

It is with some trepidation and a lot of hope that I welcome the new year of 2022. As I look out my window, the world is awash in gray: skies, winter bark on maple trees, relentless rain which forms puddles in every hollow, and the gray-winged birds which flock to our feeders. The world is seeming to pause, somehow, as if waiting for what will happen next. As I wait too, wondering if I am ready for whatever comes next.

It’s been a long year, folks. The pandemic did not go away with vaccinations as most of us hoped. We have had to soldier on through surge after surge. Masking has become commonplace in our household, as is testing to make sure we are not passing COVID on to our loved ones before any gathering. Severe weather events are becoming more common. The climate summit in Glasgow did not accomplish much. Politicians are still fighting. You know all this stuff. It gets OLD. I long to see a new change, while realizing that the only change that can and indeed must occur is change within myself. So at the turning of the year, I have a lot of reflecting to do. Do you?

I do not wish to recreate my old list of resolutions, which begin in hope only to get ditched about three weeks in. This year I hope to live in more grateful awareness of what is already around me, and inside me. I would like to focus on abundance rather than lack. I would like to notice the smallest of precious moments. I would like to hold them as candles in these dark winter days to illuminate what is good in my small world.

painting: New Year’s Candle

I present to you a few bright moments, beginning with this example: ( my husband noticed this first – he is my best teacher) I did not bother to put a quilt around the base of our live Christmas tree as has been my habit in years past. Be it pure laziness, it did lead our cat, Thomasina, to use the water in the tree stand as a personal fountain. Each day she goes to the tree stand and daintily dips her paws into the water (this is the coon part of her Maine coon heritage) to wash her face. If I had covered the base she would not have had access to the water.

The chickens are some of my greatest teachers, as you might well know. I daily admire the courage and tenacity of our oldest hen, Buffy, as she hangs on to her place in the flock despite suffering injury from one of our more aggressive hens. Buffy shows up every day to forage, dust bathe, and nibble at treats. She waits in the evening until the other seven are ensconced on the roost upstairs. She slowly makes her way up the rather steep ramp, speaking softly to them all the while, and then settles herself at the top of the ramp as guardian of the flock.

Our Buffy at almost nine years old, the grande dame of the flock!

I am blessed every day by our newest four hens, the Dream Team. They have never had a pecking order squabble. They hang together and help each other out. As a bonus, they present us with beautiful brown eggs every day without fail. They patiently wait their turn at any treats I provide and snuggle together each night on about one foot of space on the roost. I wish the whole world could get along like the Dream Team.

What about so many other small and large treasures? The new calendars hung, full of possibility, the Christmas cards gathered on the side of our fridge waiting to be taken down and wreathed in a whispered blessing for the thoughtfulness of friends and family, the anticipation of a new cup of tea, a warm bath in glowing candlelight, a brilliant sunset seen especially vividly through the bare branches of trees, the garden, now dormant, resting under its blanket of compost and leaves, the fact that even though I am rather isolated by the pandemic I still have my meditation companions, my life companion (no small treasure, but a HUGE one), our golden retrievers who are the best at cuddles and companionship, the marvel of children and grandchildren who finally get to visit and the fact that I play some small part in their lives and abilities. Wow. Just wow. May the actions I take this year serve to nurture, and protect these small and large treasures.

It is my hope that in reading this, you are perhaps reminded of the treasures large and small that your life holds. The most wondrous gift of all is the light and life inside each one of us. May we nurture our light and extend it in love and compassion to the rest of the world.

Please comment below if you have a thought or a treasure to share!

The Love of Ordinary Things

All you need is love. My husband of fifty years taught me this. It is a familiar phrase from an early Beatles song. Around our house, the tempo of our lives is graced with those well loved Beatle lyrics playing in the background. Indeed this past year of pandemic, political crisis and seemingly hopeless divide has sorely tested the truth of “all you need is love.” And yet when life narrows down to simple everyday existence, and all the things we seemingly thought we could not do without are gone, love remains. Think on that! I recently read the words of a friend who reflected on how the simplest of ordinary things have become beautiful and dear in this time of pandemic isolation. She admits to smiling fondly at her coffee cup. Perhaps she has lost her mind? She invited the reader to reflect on the small things which have become beautiful and dear. After my chuckle at her reflection I found myself noting certain small, beautiful and dear things as well. Consider my favorite wintertime companions, the birds: how the cheerful Carolina wren holds its jaunty striped tail feathers up high like a salute; how the scarlet cardinal males with their garnet grey partners cause the bare branches of my crabapple tree to bloom; how the snowbirds (juncos) nestle in the snow covered branches of our discarded Christmas tree to munch on bagel treats which we hung there.

February is an in-between month. Winter lingers on like a visitor that has outlived its welcome. We look to see if the groundhog sees its shadow, and begin to yearn for spring. The snow has lost its charm. I tire of the indoor tasks which were so beguiling in late autumn: reading, knitting, writing, drinking endless cups of tea. I sort my seed packets and count the days until I can begin to push those embryos of life into the waiting soil. Yet the days pass slowly. I make homemade valentines and treat my feathered ladies to a special heart shaped seed cake. I hang the carefully cut out hearts where Christmas decorations and snowflakes were. I studiously avoid my sewing room where a quilt is waiting for my silver needle to flash in and out, in and out. I drift as lazily through my days as the snowflakes which aimlessly float in the air outside my window.

In recent winter issue of Bella Grace magazine I came across an article entitled “Beautiful In-Betweens” by Elle Harris, a writer I much admire. https://thisquotablelife.wordpress.com/ She invites the reader to reflect on the “in-between” times in life. In particular one such invitation invites the reader to examine their hands. Think of what evidence those hands provide of a life well lived. What a small, seemingly ordinary thing to cherish: one’s own hands. Yet if I look closely at my own not so young hands, they do provide a kind of roadmap and I looked up a journal entry I wrote not long after my mother passed away. I will share parts of it:

Journal Entry:  Hands (summer 2014)

Today I had to move a box into Mom’s old closet.  To make room I had to dismantle a box of framed photographs which she had had at Serenity Care.  As I went through the photos, mostly of her great-grandchildren, I got such a sense of time passing.  It seemed so recently that these sweet children were just born, yet that was ten to twenty years ago.  Where have the years gone?  It seems I blink and a year goes by.  I found photos of my oldest son holding his firstborn in his arms, my second granddaughter as a baby in a Moses basket, wedding photos, and one precious photo of my son at age four dressed as a clown for Halloween, my daughter’s senior photos.  My what a beauty!

I found Mom’s baby pictures, deeds to property, checkbooks, my last accounting of her estate, jewelry no one wanted.  That is what is left of her:  a paper trail, a lock of hair, a strand of crystal beads.

I found the rings I had to take off last summer when my arthritis got so bad.  My twenty-fifth wedding anniversary emerald, my fortieth anniversary ruby.  I thought —maybe?? My hands are not as bad this summer.  I slipped each on the ring finger.  They stopped at each enlarged knuckle.  No.

I am reminded again of my age.  My hands are just like my mother’s:  wrinkled, brown with age spots, mountain range of blue veins traced across the top.  My own Blue Ridge.  

These Hands

These hands have cradled babies’ heads,

and stroked my mother’s tear-streaked face,

kneaded warm smooth mounds of fragrant bread dough,

dug into the garden’s rich deep earth

to weed and plant seeds,

clapped with pride at a concert or swim meet,

typed endless lesson plans,

grasped firmly a child’s hand to give a lift up,

stroked a silky golden retriever’s fur,

strummed a dulcimer’s plaintive lament,

patted a chicken’s down fluffed breast,

wound around a husband’s strong shoulders,

folded in prayer for a friend,

laid idly while river dreaming,

twisted long red locks in agitation,

curled around a pen to record life’s questions,

composed a letter of comfort or a poem,

pressed on a keyboard to send a missive

bearing connection and love.

These hands.

Poem

Eating a Yellow Feet Egg in My New Egg Cup

Permit me to wax sloppily grateful
on this grey late winter morning,
my heart as glad 
as the lone redbird bloom
on the evergreen outside my kitchen window.
I dip my slanted spoon
into yellow richness,
having cracked and peeled away
the top of an egg newly laid 
by my sweet little hen.
Those handfuls of sunflower seeds
I offered you as you stood on the roost,
singing,
translated into liquid sun,
and I own more gold than kings.

Mid-Winter Light

We have passed the mid-winter mark last week as Groundhog Day, Imbolc, the Feast of St. Brigid, and/or Candlemas are all celebrated on February 1-2 in different cultures and faith traditions.  Common to our area, the groundhog, celebrated on February second for his ability to predict the seasons, saw his shadow in some places and in other places did not, insuring that the debate about how many more weeks of winter we must endure will continue on.  The fact is Spring will return with the equinox.  Meanwhile these old bones feel a returning strength in the sunlight which pours forth from the blessing of pristine blue skies these past few days.

I for one am not a huge fan of groundhog traditions no matter how much a part of our Appalachian culture they may be.  I prefer to mark the mid-winter celebration with the Irish tradition of setting out a cloth for St. Brigid to bless as folk tradition says she treads lightly on the earth come January’s end to promise the return of warmth and light.  I also set new white candles in our holders on the kitchen and dining room tables, while I whisper a quiet blessing on hearth and home. 

Each year at Candlemas I recall a story I read once about prisoners in a Japanese prisoner of war camp during World War II who craved and treasured candles, not as a source  of light, but as a source of food, to be nibbled one small bit at a time, thus numbing the ache of starvation.  Finally, on Christmas Eve, one tiny remaining candle was brought forth by one starving prisoner and lit.  Reminding everyone in that dark, cramped cell that Light had come into the world, and that hope can be rekindled. 

I light two candles as evening falls, and the sky turns that lovely color of pale blue before fading into deeper indigo, in hope that light will return both in this season and in our darkened, fear-filled world.  May I be light.  May YOU be light.  May WE ALL be light for each other and for the world.

(One can find the candle story in an online search as it appeared in an issue of Reader’s Digest, December 1990.)

The temperature was -13 this morning at the house. The snow crunched underfoot as I made my way out to check on the chickens. The clouds of smoke from the wood stove drifted to the ground under the high pressure of bright morning skies. So blue and clear, promising a lovely winter day. In the coop the chickens were staying up on their roost above the run. It was -2 in the run. They are smart to not want to come down just yet. I congratulated Miss Henrietta on her decision to roost with the others last night. I had gone out to check on them after dark, prepared to place her up on the roost, but she was already there. She has taken to wanting to sleep in the bedding below the roost. I gave them a handful of scratch and changed out their frozen water, promising to check on them later. Meanwhile, the plan for today is to warm up by the fire, a little meditation and yoga, and then to work on quilting!

Winter Thoughts

We are in the midst of another polar vortex rolling across the U.S. Two days ago the temperatures almost reached the sixties. The sky was deep blue, the river which flows around our little town was a deeper green, and the clouds at sunset were cotton candy puffs of pink. One could really sense the promise of Spring. My first snowdrops have bloomed and on the way home from town I spotted an entire yard full of red breasted robins. My daffodils have pushed their first green tips up along the path to the garden shed.

These are small signs of hope. The promise that the season WILL turn, the warmth of the sun will again call forth the greening of our world. Yet today we are sheathed in winter’s cold embrace as the temperatures plummet and snow again piles on the deck and lines the branches of the crabapple tree which hugs the deck corner. A kaleidoscope of birds swirl and dip in a gay dance around the feeders.

My chickens eagerly peck through a pan of chopped kale, sprouts and microgreens to find the treasure of a small handful of scratch hidden below by the more nutricious greens. Buttercup hops up on a stump to chatter away at me, hoping for a little extra treat, which I supply because she is at the bottom of the pecking order and is not apt to get her fair share.

My husband is delighting in baking a pan of doughnuts, which he places warm and fragrant, in a brown paper bag, to run out and give to the waste collection guys when they come by. He recalls small kindnesses like this on past winter days in town when a few citizens had warm baked goods ready to hand out to chilled city workers.

Signs of hope. Small kindnesses we can do for the critters around us, and the people who serve, often getting little notice. A smile, a hand up, a warm treat fresh from the oven, a gesture of our shared humanity and common spirit. A small thaw in the heart of winter.

Hope. Pass it on.